Sitting with the Unknown
The courage to resist the pull of familiarity
In a world that thrives on predictability, comfort, and control, when we experience a disruptive situation that leaves us wanting to retreat back to what is safe and familiar - it’s time to pause and sit with this feeling of the unknown.
The unknown is a place that can trigger anxiety, resistance, and a deep urge to retreat to what is familiar, safe, and understood. Yet, there is a profound power in sitting with the unknown—a power that can lead to growth, clarity, and transformation.
The choice to resist the pull of familiar situations, even when everything within us longs to crawl back to safety, is an act of courage. It is a choice that requires patience, self-trust, and the willingness to embrace uncertainty.
The pull of the familiar
We are hardwired to seek comfort. Our brains are designed to avoid pain, uncertainty, and discomfort. When faced with unfamiliar territory—whether it's a new job, relationship, project, or life transition—our instinct is often to flee back to what we know.
We retreat to old patterns, old relationships, or old habits, because they feel safe, predictable, and secure. This reaction isn’t just emotional; it’s biological. The brain’s default mode is to seek familiarity because it associates it with survival. But what happens when we allow ourselves to stay in the discomfort of the unknown?
The beauty of the unknown
The unknown, while unsettling, is the fertile ground for personal and collective growth. It is in these spaces that we encounter the rawness of our experience. There is no roadmap, no safety net, but this lack of certainty invites a new level of creativity and resilience for us to step into.
The unknown is where innovation, breakthrough moments, and profound personal revelations arise. It’s where we uncover strengths we never knew we had and capacities we never thought possible. Here we discover new facets of ourselves, ones that could have never been tapped into if we were in our comfort zone.
The discomfort we feel in the unknown is not a sign of weakness or something to be avoided; it is a signal that we are on the verge of growth. Like the pressure exerted on a diamond to form, or the heat that forges iron into steel, the unknown refines us in ways that comfort never could.
The fear of change
Much of our resistance to the unknown is rooted in fear. We fear failure, rejection, confusion, and loss. But, if we examine this fear more closely, we see that it often stems from the stories we tell ourselves about what might happen, rather than what is actually happening in the present moment. Our minds let our fears create scenarios that only amplify our anxiety.
However scary the unknown may feel, if we decide to sit with the fears it brings up, we realize that most of our fears were based on projections and not reality.
Why we avoid the unknown
Why, then, do we so often fall back into the patterns of safety? Why do we seek refuge in the familiar? The answer lies in the human desire for control. Familiar situations, even though they may not be what we truly want, feel predictable - they give us a sense of safety within our environment. When we step into the unknown, we relinquish that control and surrender to the flow of life as it unfolds, which can feel both exhilarating and terrifying.
But growth, at its core, is about surrender. It’s about stepping into the river of life, rather than clinging to the shoreline. When we choose to sit with the unknown, we embrace change and welcome in new and better possibilities - ones that when we will look back - could have never even imagined.
Sit with uncertaintity
In order to overcome fear and level up into a new reality, we must develop the capacity to be comfortable in discomfort - no matter how hard it feels and trust that something greater is on the other side for us.
To do this, I reccommend:
Meditation: Meditation helps us tay grounded in the present moment. When we meditate, we cultivate the ability to observe our thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. We learn to be with the uncertainty, rather than avoiding it.
Journaling and Reflection: Writing is a powerful tool to process our fears and doubts. Journaling is one of my favorite practices to let our my racing thoughts and create a space for clarity and insight. It also helps to see the stories we are telling ourlseves ourselves that may be keeping us stuck in neagtive thought patterns and keeping us stuck.
Breathwork: My favorite practice for calming my anxiety, racing thoughts and my mindset when it wanders into negativity is taking one large exhale in 4 seconds- holding for 7 and exhaling for 8 (or as close to that as you can get) Repeating this breathing technique for 20 minutes while repeating mantras such as, “I am ready to step into my next level” or “I am divinely protected” or “thank you for this redirection, universe” etc. etc.
Small Acts of Courage: No matter your situation, taking one small step into the unknown will build you courage and show you that life is not that scary. With each act of courage, you build your confidence and tolerance for uncertainty.
Cultivating Trust: Trust is key. Trust in yourself, trust in life, and trust that even when things feel uncertain, the universe has your back. There is a lesson in whatever challenge you facing and this challenge is exactly what you need at this precise moment. Trust that the universe is a teacher that is guiding you toward deeper understanding and a higher path and more evolved you!
The transformative power of the uncertaintity
By choosing to sit with the unknown and trusting in the universe, you are transforming yourself and stepping into a new reality. When it feels hard, go back to one of the practices I mentioned above. These practices will help keep you centered as you remind yourself that everything is working out in your favor. Don’t give up. You will look back on this moment and be thankful it got you where you needed to be.